25 Nov 2024 – ŽENSKI INFO

Milica Stojanović Kostić

I still cannot reconcile with everything that happened today. The words of Mayor Ljiljana Šubarić still ring in my ears—unclear at times, especially when she forgets to use the feminine instead of the masculine form. Yet, her words resonate as if today were the happiest day of the year, not one of the saddest for women—the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. In Gračanica, a political party founded a Women’s Union today. The president of this union arrived at the Cultural Center with an entourage of male decision-makers to tell me that I am very important to them as a woman, mother, and guardian of Kosovo.

A certain Mrs. Rašić spoke about preserving Obilić and Gračanica. Fine, the narrative was clearly political and nationalistic, but let’s be honest—others, including men, also contribute to preserving these things. What she should have said, considering today’s emphasis on glorifying women like never before, is this: Where do we raise these ‘guardians’? How do we feed them? Who heals them, and with what resources? But no, the narrative lacked substance regarding real problems women face. Instead, it was reduced to shallow interethnic squabbling, where once again Albanians were blamed for everything. Serbian women in Kosovo, according to this narrative, are primarily harassed by Albanians, while Serbian men are portrayed as a celestial people who deeply respect their wives and mothers.

This would all be lovely—if it were true. I would be the proudest. But the mayor’s speech conveniently omitted the fact that Marija from Gušterica was killed in her own home this August by her husband—a Serbian man. She also failed to mention the near-daily reports to police stations from women being abused and beaten by their Serbian husbands. Of course, these things couldn’t be mentioned because they don’t fit into the framework of political propaganda. It is undeniable that our compatriots in the north face challenges with Albanians, police, and negligent officials. But, you know what? We’ve been dealing with problems here in central Kosovo since the war ended, yet you never thought to address them publicly until now.

Why didn’t you mention workplace harassment or bullying, issues women face constantly? Oh, right, that doesn’t suit your narrative, as your party oversees many of these institutions.

Why not discuss how there are municipal mechanisms for protecting women but they remain underfunded and underutilized because, as one commission member put it, it’s not important? Of course, this doesn’t align with your political campaign goals.

Lastly, why not openly admit that quotas and numbers mean nothing if women are not truly making decisions themselves but are instead dependent on a male-dominated political elite that stamps decisions on their behalf?

Today, Elek also addressed me. He said Kosovo cannot survive without me. Well, he addressed all women and mothers of Kosovo, so maybe I was inadvertently included.

Thank you, Elek.

Like every woman in Kosovo, regardless of faith, ethnicity, or orientation, I already know we are important. I know your male-dominated world wouldn’t even exist without us. You wouldn’t have careers if we didn’t raise your children, maintain your homes, and make sure you are fed and presentable. But the story of women doesn’t end there; it begins there.

Elek, educate your voter base to understand that women are more than housekeepers, caretakers, or targets for abuse and ridicule. Women are equal members of society, deserving of respect and appreciation in all spheres—not just when you need a political point or two before elections.

And the most important thing: today is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, yet after this event in Gračanica, I feel worse than I ever imagined possible. Once again, a group of men used this day to mock the victims of violence—on this very day.

I had hoped for something entirely different today, perhaps an event to honor Marija from Gušterica and others like her. Instead, what we got was a slap in the face, a mockery from the front rows of the Cultural Center.

Oh, Marija, if there were justice, you would be here with us in Gračanica today, happy and smiling. Perhaps then this day would have more meaning. But as it stands, because of all the Marijas who were murdered, beaten, and abused, this day remains one of the saddest in Gračanica. At least for those of us who still have some dignity.

Autorka tekst: Milice Stojanović Kostić

Još ne mogu da prihvatim da se sve ovo danas dogodilo, još mi u ušima odzvanjaju reči gradonačelnice Ljiljane Šubarić, istina dosta nejasne, u trenucima kada ne zna da treba da iskoristi ženski a ne muški rod, ipak odzvanjaju kao da je danas najlepši dan u godini, a ne možda i najtužniji za ženski rod – Dan borbe protiv nasilja nad ženama.

U Gračanici je danas jedna poltička partija osnovala Uniju žena. Predsednica te Unije je danas sa celom svitom muških donosioca odluka, došla u Dom kulture da MI kažu da sam IM MNOGO VAŽNA, kao ŽENA, MAJKA, ČUVARKA KOSOVA.

Reče izvesna gospodja Rašić da čuvamo Obilića i Gračanicu, nije sporno, narativ je jasno politički i nacionalistički, ali čuvaju ga i ostali, pa i muškarci. Ono što je trebalo da kaže, pošto su već odlučili da danas veličaju žene kao nikad u godini,ali i od svog postojanja, je to gde rađamo te “čuvare”, kako ih prehranjujemo, ko ih leči i čime?

Ali ne, narativ je bio štur u kontekstu realnih problema žena, površno međuetničko prepucavanje, koje rezultira da su ponovo za sve Albanci krivi, da Srpkinje na Kosovu najviše oni maltretiraju i da su Srbi nebeski narod koji duboko poštuje svoje supruge, majke.

I sve bi to bilo lepo da je istina, ja bih bila najponosnija, ali sakrila je i gradonačelnica u svom govoru da je Mariju u Gušterici u avgustu ove godine, u svom domu ubio njen muž – ni manje ni više nego Srbin. Nije pomenula ni da se gotovo svakodnevno policijskoj stanici javljaju žene koje maltretiraju njihovi muževi, tuku ih i zlostavljaju, takođe Srbi. Ali to nije smelo da se pomene, jer ne može se iskoristiti u cilju političke propagande .

Neosporno je da naše sugrađanke sa severa imaju problema sa Albancima, policijom i nesavesnim službenicima, ali znate šta, imamo ih na centralnom Kosovu od završetka rata do danas, pa se niste setili da o tome javno govorite do sada.

Zašto ne pomenuste ni uznemiravanje na poslu, mobing, žene su konstantno izložene istom? Ne odgovara vam, jer ste za većinu institucija zaduženi vi!

Zašto ne govorite o tome da postoje opštinski mehanizmi za zaštitu žena, a da ih ne koristite, ne povećavate im budžet, jer to nije važno, kako reče jedan član komisije. Ali ne, to ne ide u domen poltičke kampanje!

Na kraju krajeva, zašto javno ne kažete da brojke i kvote ne predstavljaju ništa, ako žene zaista ne donose odluke same, već zavise od muške političko-partijske “elite” koja umesto njih stavlja pečat na odluku.

I Elek mi se danas obratio. Reče mi da BEZ MENE NE MOŽE DA OPSTANE KOSOVO, mislim rekao je sve žene, majke na Kosovu pa me je možda nesmotreno uračunao.

Hvala Eleče.

Ja kao i svaka žena na Kosovu, bilo koje vere, nacionalnosti i opredeljnja, znamo da smo važne, znamo da bez nas vaš muško-dominantni svet ne bi ni postojao, da ne bi mogli da pravite karijere, bez da vam mi odgajamo decu, da vam držimo stubove domova, da ste opeglani i nahranjeni, ali tu se priča o ženama ne završava. Ona tek tu počinje. Eleče, edukujte svoje biračko telo, da je žena više od domaćice i spremačice, vreće za udaranje, ponižavanje i podsmeh. Žena je ravnopravni član ovog društva, Eleče, i kao takva mora biti visoko poštovana i cenjena u svim sferama društva, a nikako iskorišćavana po potrebi kada vam zafali poen ili dva pred nekakve izbore.

I ono najvažnije, danas je Dan borbe protiv nasilja nad ženama, a ja se posle ovakvog događaja u Gračanici osećam gore od onoga što sam ikako mogla, jer ponovo je došla grupa muškaraca da se podsmehne žrtvama nasilja, i na ovaj dan!

Danas sam imala da vam kažem nešto potpuno drugačije, nadala sam se da će neko napraviti nekakav prigodan dogadjaj, na kojem će još jednom odati poštu stradaloj Mariji iz Gušterice, međutim dobile smo šamarčinu u lice u podsmeh iz prvih redova Doma kulture.

E moja Marija, da je bilo pravde pa da danas budeš medju nama, ovde u Gračanici, i da budeš srećna i nasmejana, možda bi ovaj dan imao više smisla. Ovako zbog svih Marija koje su ubijene, prebijane, maltretirane, ovaj dan je jedan od najtužnijih u Gračanici. Bar je tako sa nama koji imamo bar malo digniteta.